Brokeback to the Journal..
Well, after much cajoling and prodding, I have decided to revisit my journal.
Much has happened since my last entry, so I shall attempt to plumb the psychological innards of my very being and display them before you like some bizarre human smorgasbord. I imagine it would look something like a Haggis turned inside out.
Lately, I have been in two minds as to whether I'm still enjoying this job. On the one hand, their confidence in my abilities is ever-present and bolstered by an undaunted desire to plug me into any training course that seems vaguely representative of my current role.
However, (and this is the annoying part), I am really starting to doubt whether I'm cut out to be a public servant. I realise this may make me sound extremely elitist (and possibly a little superficial), but I really don't feel like I fit in with the Henrietta Highpants's or Craig Chainsmoker's that seem to make up the general population of this organisation.
"Am I wasting myself?", is the current million-dollar question.
To add weight to the negative, I have daily dealings with people in positions of moderate power that have no clue as to what their role entails, yet harbour little or no desire to increase their knowledge base or skill-set for fear (and here I am assuming), it may entail a higher level of responsibility. Perhaps I am the product of a different mindset, and was born after that 'lifetime of service' generation where people stayed in the same role their entire life. Nothing would make me consider suicide faster should I have to suffer the same fate.
Process of attrition scares me. On the upside, if I stay here long enough I may end up as commissioner.
I'm sure the news that I quit North at the beginning of the year has filtered down to most people in my circle of influence. New Years eve was the icing on the cake for me. I consider myself to be an ok DJ, but don't believe I should have to suffer the slings and arrows (read 'spilt beer and dickheads'), of outrageous fortune. I had been at North for over 2 years, and figured it was time for a change. Fortunately I ran into Nick who gave me a call a few days later and told me they were looking for someone to play at B-Bar on Saturdays. Why is it some things just seem to be predestined. Weird.
So I now do Saturdays at B-Bar. What a venue. What a sound system. People dance! *shakes reader furiously by the shoulders* They dance, do you hear me!. I'm sorry, it's just been a while since I felt like people appreciated what I play.
On a rather melancholy note, my grandfather passed away a couple of weeks ago. He was 93, but even so, it was still unexpected as he was in excellent health for a man his age. Nevertheless, my grandmother is an absolute rock, and has been carrying on with her life with the same degree of voracity. What a trooper.
Not meaning to sound preachy here, but don't put off today what you may not be able to do tomorrow. I'm kicking myself that he never got to see my daughter before he passed away.
Learn from another's mistakes.
Err...I think I hear gospel music coming from somewhere, so I'd better stop.
For those who know me on a personal level, my little girl turns 2 on Sunday. We're having a birthday party, where I believe she will attempt to whack the hell out of a 'Dora the Explorer' piñata until it rains down lollies on her paper-hatted head. Pictures shall hopefully be posted.
Connor started pre-pre school (that's not a typo), about 5 weeks ago. He goes 2 days a week and already has a girlfriend. Apparently her name is Erin and she talks a lot. I'm not sure whether I should be concerned at this point, so I'll play it by ear.
Look at me playing at being a parent. :o)
ok, I think you've had enuff now.
Posted on 10:17 AM by thenewbeige and filed under | 0 Comments »
Much has happened since my last entry, so I shall attempt to plumb the psychological innards of my very being and display them before you like some bizarre human smorgasbord. I imagine it would look something like a Haggis turned inside out.
Lately, I have been in two minds as to whether I'm still enjoying this job. On the one hand, their confidence in my abilities is ever-present and bolstered by an undaunted desire to plug me into any training course that seems vaguely representative of my current role.
However, (and this is the annoying part), I am really starting to doubt whether I'm cut out to be a public servant. I realise this may make me sound extremely elitist (and possibly a little superficial), but I really don't feel like I fit in with the Henrietta Highpants's or Craig Chainsmoker's that seem to make up the general population of this organisation.
"Am I wasting myself?", is the current million-dollar question.
To add weight to the negative, I have daily dealings with people in positions of moderate power that have no clue as to what their role entails, yet harbour little or no desire to increase their knowledge base or skill-set for fear (and here I am assuming), it may entail a higher level of responsibility. Perhaps I am the product of a different mindset, and was born after that 'lifetime of service' generation where people stayed in the same role their entire life. Nothing would make me consider suicide faster should I have to suffer the same fate.
Process of attrition scares me. On the upside, if I stay here long enough I may end up as commissioner.
I'm sure the news that I quit North at the beginning of the year has filtered down to most people in my circle of influence. New Years eve was the icing on the cake for me. I consider myself to be an ok DJ, but don't believe I should have to suffer the slings and arrows (read 'spilt beer and dickheads'), of outrageous fortune. I had been at North for over 2 years, and figured it was time for a change. Fortunately I ran into Nick who gave me a call a few days later and told me they were looking for someone to play at B-Bar on Saturdays. Why is it some things just seem to be predestined. Weird.
So I now do Saturdays at B-Bar. What a venue. What a sound system. People dance! *shakes reader furiously by the shoulders* They dance, do you hear me!. I'm sorry, it's just been a while since I felt like people appreciated what I play.
On a rather melancholy note, my grandfather passed away a couple of weeks ago. He was 93, but even so, it was still unexpected as he was in excellent health for a man his age. Nevertheless, my grandmother is an absolute rock, and has been carrying on with her life with the same degree of voracity. What a trooper.
Not meaning to sound preachy here, but don't put off today what you may not be able to do tomorrow. I'm kicking myself that he never got to see my daughter before he passed away.
Learn from another's mistakes.
Err...I think I hear gospel music coming from somewhere, so I'd better stop.
For those who know me on a personal level, my little girl turns 2 on Sunday. We're having a birthday party, where I believe she will attempt to whack the hell out of a 'Dora the Explorer' piñata until it rains down lollies on her paper-hatted head. Pictures shall hopefully be posted.
Connor started pre-pre school (that's not a typo), about 5 weeks ago. He goes 2 days a week and already has a girlfriend. Apparently her name is Erin and she talks a lot. I'm not sure whether I should be concerned at this point, so I'll play it by ear.
Look at me playing at being a parent. :o)
ok, I think you've had enuff now.
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