So anyway...I was reading the morally thought-provoking scribblings of my journalistic ally 
daria_33ski, as doing this seems to facilitate my living the "Extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeme!!!*" side of life vicariously through her, what with all the talk of snowboarding, partying and general shenaniganery.
Unfortunately, said adrenalin-charged compositions seem to only further highlight the rather pathetic fact that the closest I've been to "Extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeme!!!" lately is running down a slippery driveway in Havaianas.
....which leads smoothly (or if you're wearing said Havaianas, skids awkwardly, lurches into a wheely bin and ends up face down in a pot plant), down the path of my next point.
Why is it when certain people (okay, I'll put it out there....Americans), travel overseas on holiday and need to ask for directions, they firmly believe that if any habitant of another nation does not speak their language, the best solution is to speak louder and slower, and address them as if they're now dealing with someone that's slightly mentally retarded.
As I've already stated, this only applies if you were born in the U.S., but the above method apparently allows these people to communicate in any language, and hence the foreigner who has been staring blankly whilst the short hairy man in Bermuda shorts furiously gesticulates and makes (what they consider to be), rather lifelike train noises for the past five minutes will now miraculously understand every word. Hence the following verbal exchange..
Bermuda Guy : (Whilst making 'woowoo' noises and rotating their forearm in a circular motion), "Hey, where's the train station?"
Foreigner : "Estoy apesadumbrado, yo no hablo inglés"
Bermuda Guy's Wife : "Sweetie, I don't think he understood you.."
Bermuda Guy : "That's ok honey, I got it covered"
Foreigner : ¿Puedo ahora ir?
Bermuda Guy : DO...YOU....KNOW......WHERE....IS.....EL.....TRAINO.....STATIONO...?"
Foreigner : "Oh right yes, it's about four blocks down, turn right and it's the first on your left"
Bermuda Guy : "THANK....YOU"...
Foreigner : *cough* "Fuck you very much" *cough*
Bermuda Guy : "I'm sorry?"
Foreigner : "Va a casa, usted hombre estúpido.."
Bermuda Guy's Wife : "Oh he's so cute honey...can we keep him?.."
Dumb yanks.
Here endeth my anti-american diatribe.
Oh, an on a more sombre note, Steve Irwin, even with his quirkiness, self aggrandisement and in-your-face personality was still a champion for the cause of all animals, and for that he will forever have my ultimate respect. He is an irreplaceable character, and my deepest sympathies go out to his family.
We'll miss you Steve, you were (to use the Australian vernacular), a bloody legend.
* This phrase must be shrieked in conjunction with the following hand gesture (see below):
Posted on 10:00 AM by thenewbeige and filed under | 0 Comments »
daria_33ski, as doing this seems to facilitate my living the "Extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeme!!!*" side of life vicariously through her, what with all the talk of snowboarding, partying and general shenaniganery. Unfortunately, said adrenalin-charged compositions seem to only further highlight the rather pathetic fact that the closest I've been to "Extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeme!!!" lately is running down a slippery driveway in Havaianas.
....which leads smoothly (or if you're wearing said Havaianas, skids awkwardly, lurches into a wheely bin and ends up face down in a pot plant), down the path of my next point.
Why is it when certain people (okay, I'll put it out there....Americans), travel overseas on holiday and need to ask for directions, they firmly believe that if any habitant of another nation does not speak their language, the best solution is to speak louder and slower, and address them as if they're now dealing with someone that's slightly mentally retarded.
As I've already stated, this only applies if you were born in the U.S., but the above method apparently allows these people to communicate in any language, and hence the foreigner who has been staring blankly whilst the short hairy man in Bermuda shorts furiously gesticulates and makes (what they consider to be), rather lifelike train noises for the past five minutes will now miraculously understand every word. Hence the following verbal exchange..
Bermuda Guy : (Whilst making 'woowoo' noises and rotating their forearm in a circular motion), "Hey, where's the train station?"
Foreigner : "Estoy apesadumbrado, yo no hablo inglés"
Bermuda Guy's Wife : "Sweetie, I don't think he understood you.."
Bermuda Guy : "That's ok honey, I got it covered"
Foreigner : ¿Puedo ahora ir?
Bermuda Guy : DO...YOU....KNOW......WHERE....IS.....EL.....TRAINO.....STATIONO...?"
Foreigner : "Oh right yes, it's about four blocks down, turn right and it's the first on your left"
Bermuda Guy : "THANK....YOU"...
Foreigner : *cough* "Fuck you very much" *cough*
Bermuda Guy : "I'm sorry?"
Foreigner : "Va a casa, usted hombre estúpido.."
Bermuda Guy's Wife : "Oh he's so cute honey...can we keep him?.."
Dumb yanks.
Here endeth my anti-american diatribe.
Oh, an on a more sombre note, Steve Irwin, even with his quirkiness, self aggrandisement and in-your-face personality was still a champion for the cause of all animals, and for that he will forever have my ultimate respect. He is an irreplaceable character, and my deepest sympathies go out to his family.
We'll miss you Steve, you were (to use the Australian vernacular), a bloody legend.
* This phrase must be shrieked in conjunction with the following hand gesture (see below):
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