Eat This.
I'm not exactly sure where to start with the "dining experience" I had recently. I was told Element was one of the best restaurants
unfortunately it became apparent during the course of my meal that is no longer the case.
I and my dining partner were shown to a lovely table within earshot of the toilets (even though others were freely available), which afforded us the wonderful accompaniment of flushing and straining throughout each course. 'Trés romantic', I hear you say. Oui Oui.
Our first course arrived with an accompanying wine not long after ordering, and was well received. However, this was subsequent to us asking for napkins and cutlery so we could actually start the meal. But I digress...
The ensuing 45 minute wait for the second course and resultant cornering of one of the wait staff to ask if someone had passed away unnoticed in the kitchen was the only thing that seemed to prompt it's arrival.
During the serving of the following courses, there was a glass smashed at our table by one of the wait staff and we also had food and wine removed (without query), before they were finished. Hardly behaviour you would expect from an establishment such as this.
Most of the meals (we chose the Deg menu; $98 inclusive per head including wine), were disappointingly devoid of flavour, but when it came to the dessert, well, this deserves it's own explanation.
My partner had the Vanilla Brulee, and I chose the rather exotic-sounding "Chilli Chocolate Mud Cake".
Now, I do consider myself to have a fairly mature palate with respect to all things edible, but to say that the chef was a little heavy-handed with the chilli would be like saying Dannii Minogue has had a 'little work done'. I've consumed Vindaloo Curries with less kick than this.
After draining the contents of my partner's water glass and a nearby vase, I waited for the steam to clear so we could converse further.
Suggesting that we depart (in order for me to head home to apply aloe vera to my now rather numb mouth), we made our way to the cashier, who (before the transaction had taken place), inquired as to our meal. My partner advised him of the wait between courses and also the molten mud cake.
His response? "Thanks, I'll let the chef know. That'll be $197 thanks".
To sum up, I am reminded of something my mother used to say to me, 'I'm not angry, I'm just incredibly disappointed'.
And I was.
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